Where are my friends at?

Why doesn’t anyone warn us that making friends in adulthood is impossibly difficult? Sure, there will be phases of life during which it can be easier. Having young kids involved in activities, PTA, school functions, and kids’ parties are all great places to shop for friends. But then your kids grow up and graduate, they move away to college, and those friendships slowly fade away as each family finds their new phase of life. It is so hard y’all.

We moved to a new suburb a little over a year ago. I have not made one single friend in this new town. Thank goodness I have a handful of lifelong friendships, but they all live in other places and have busy lives. We are down to one kid still living at home and she is in 8th grade. There weren’t many opportunities to meet people through school before COVID, but especially not now. I find it hard to believe that I am alone in this…surely there is at least one other person who is struggling to make new connections. I don’t consider myself especially shy, or unapproachable. So what the heck am I doing wrong?!? Seriously, where are all the open and honest, genuine, help you hide your Amazon mountain kind of friends??? Where are my coffee friends, something a little stronger friends, laugh, cry, or hunt someone down friends?

Being a stay-at-home mom isn’t as easy as people may think. It can be isolating, lonely, and too quiet sometimes. Don’t get me wrong, most days I have a million things I need to get done…but when you realize you don’t even have a friend to text when something is funny during the day, it makes you stop and think. My ride-or-die friends work and don’t have time for my shenanigans during the day. My husband is busy at work but tries to indulge my texts/phone calls. Don’t even get me started on the carpool line. That is 30 minutes sitting and staring at all of the cars full of friend candidates that I have no way of tapping into.

So, where do you meet friends later in life? I’m tired of feeling like a 40-Something in Middle School. I need to find my “in”. What is the secret? Is there a code word, a handshake, or a secret hangout? Please if you are also working through this tricky phase of life, let me know how you have navigated these waters. Or if you are in this with me, let me know and we can figure this out together.

As always, thanks for listening to my heart.

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